Am I an animal in the zoo?

I forgot to bring my sports bra to office today, hence couldn’t go gym. My calf muscles are still aching anyway, so it was a good chance to just stay in office, have my protein shake, rest and look silly laughing while watching my favourite Running Man.

Towards at the of my lunch break at about 150pm, I heard some chattering behind me. then the chattering came towards my workstation and I saw a new colleague talking to two other ladies (dunno where they are from and why they are in my office! are we allowed to bring anyone up in the first place??) and showing them around the office. I know her from my ex-workplace but not very close to her.

She brought the 2 ladies over to my side and chattered excitedly “here’s the file opening”. Then 1 blur lady asked some bimbo question and she said “open files one lah! There, Wendy Wendy!”. The two ladies turned to look at me like I’m a newborn panda in the zoo enclosure.

It lasted for about 2 seconds, then they proceeded to view the rest of the ‘zoo’.

The first feeling that came to me was – disgust. If she’s the boss, ok la, LPPL. But she isn’t, yet she behaves like the boss. =_=

Next, a question came to my head .. “Am I sometimes like her too?”

And that made me cringe. I NEVER wanna be like her!!

But sometimes, when we get so enthusiastic about something, we fail to look at our behavior/ actions. Like how some sales people try to hardsell their products so much and they fail to realise how annoying they can be.

Or maybe a more appropriate example will be, some religious people are so enthusiastic about sharing their faith, that they keep pushing and hardselling until people flee from them and as a result, flee from the religion / faith as well.

But still, at the end, i still felt like a showcase animal just now. :S

animal in zoo

(image from www.straitstimes.com)

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How is God involved in my life?

@AthIeteFitness: My mission: be so busy loving my life that I have no time for hate, regret, worrying, fret, or fear.

@Quote_Soup: Never let people’s negative thoughts about you hinder you from accomplishing what God put in your heart. Dare to dream and dare to live it.

I was stuck between the above two quotes, wondering which one i should share on my Facebook wall.

I decided that I like the first one better. Cos God is involved in my life no matter what and there is no need for me to mention God at all cos it’s a given!

If i think about the second quote, I will start wondering.. How do I know if my current thoughts and goals are God-given? How do I differentiate?

And there I’ll go again mulling over every single thought n trying to decide if its from God.

U know, ever since I joined my church back in 1996, I’ve been having this wrong attitude towards my faith. Which is, I’ll start feeling guilty towards God if I don’t do what I’m supposed to do as a Christian.

Like, don’t attend church or cell group.

Don’t tithe.

Don’t love people.

Don’t forgive people.

These are the main issues which I’ve been fighting for years, especially recently. I haven’t gone church since early this year, haven tithed for years, n there are people whom I feel I’ll never be able to forgive.

No one has judged me or told me off on the above issues. They are mainly self-imposed by yours truly. N I’m seriously quite sick of such a mentality. But I’ve no idea how to get rid of it cos it has become a habit.

As how a Korean will exclaim “ORH-TU-KEH??”

In English it means “how now brown cow?”

I’m envious of Christians who live life freely as a born again believer, with no pressure to share Christ, no pressure to attend church, no pressure to put on a mask when they see people they dislike. I don’t think they are bad Christians, but they are confident in their position and know that they are still work in progress. They are slowly and steadily approaching the end of the Christian race at their own pace. I wanna be like them.

Perhaps I’m still such a newborn in my faith, even though I’ve been a Christian for many years… *shrugs*

Hence I’ve decided that the second quote is too legalistic / heavily burdened for me n I think I’ll lead my life using the first quote at the moment.

Not sure if u find this post out of point.. Haha. But maybe a few of u readers feel the same way?