Live before You Die

The reality is that everyone is expending his life and burning through the finite fuel he’s been given, yet so many give very little thought to what they are living for.

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Sunday had been a rather life-changing day.

Then again, every year during church conferences, it was quite life-changing. But somehow the hype jus died down after a week or two and life went back to normal.

This year, our church had the honor of having Evangelist Daniel Kolenda at the conference. Hubby and I attended whole conference on Sunday, and Daniel Kolenda appeared after lunch during the evangelistic rally. He spoke very clear English, which was great coz I am damn bad at deciphering accents. His whole demeanor portrayed a person sensitive and obedient to the voice of the Holy Spirit. He was simple and sincere and he spoke his mind. Besides the signs and wonders which happened during the rally (it was like the book of Acts happening right before my eyes), something else came clear to me – that God uses people who obey His every word and every nudge.

In the morning, Pastor Rick Seaward preached about God using us to do the impossible and another thing came clear to me – God uses nobodies who are available. It hit me like a rock because I think I am a Christian who knows quite a bit about Christianity and I think I am quite a smart person. And to make matters worse, I am not really available in terms of having time. Whenever the Holy Spirit nudges me to do something, I will come up with all sorts of seemingly valid reasons to counter it. But as I look back, I realised why God had put me through certain experiences in the valley over these few years. (I just gotta learn the hard way sigh).

In the evening during the Kairos night, it was such a powerful encounter with God personally for me as I caught a vision of the Holy Spirit embracing me in a white gentle cloud. The whole stadium was filled with the love and grace of God! In that evening, I experienced the absolute submission to God in worship without any constraints and embarrassment. It was a very liberating experience.

It’s now Wednesday and the excitement is still very much present. I am reading the above book by Daniel Kolenda since yesterday and it’s superb – concise and inspiring. Prayerfully I hope that I will learn to walk with God more closely from now on.

Good reminder to live in the present!

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The very first sentence struck me already. “We waste so many days waiting for the weekend”.

I think all of us are guilty of that isnt it? Well…unless your job requires you to work during the weekend and you look forward to weekdays instead haha. But still, the guilt is still there, most of us just spend our work days dreading every minute of it and can’t wait for our rest days to start.

I think it has to be that spirit of discontentment that makes us feel this way. We are far better than many others in comparison, and yet we still complain about work and grumble about life.

Today I am supposed to attend a new cell group for the first time tonight at 8pm just five minutes across my place. I’ve told the pastor and I was all ready to engage myself in studying the Bible. I was looking forward to cell the whole of this week!

Then this morning while i was putting on make up in the living room while my mum was putting out the clothes to dry, she reminded me that my elder girl has a Maths test tomorrow and I better not go for cell – stay home and revise with her.

I immediately felt so lousy – a large part of me felt guilty for not remembering about her test (actually I do remember but somehow it didn’t occur to me that my cell was the night right before the test), and another part of me felt irritated at the fact that I was going to miss cell.

Sigh – I ended up telling pastor that I couldnt make it for cell tonight.

As my friend Jeremy Goh puts it – FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS.

This kind of little hiccups in my life really cannot compare to some people’s problems like ‘when is my next meal gonna be’. I spent some time in the morning stressing over the decision whether to go cell or not, when I should really be catching up with hubby in the car on the way to work.

Actually I have been lamenting A LOT over such little problems. I think it’s also the fact that I recently got very busy and did not check the school’s online notifications, did not plan my calendar beforehand. I actually didn’t know that she had a Chinese test on Tuesday when all other other parents knew about it =_= Everyday after work is just rushing home to buy dinner and then immediately dive into taking care of the baby.

Hoping for things to settle down real soon and I can be more effective! But people, appreciate each and every day u got ya?

Yamagawa Japanese Restaurant (Food Review)

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Cecilia treated me to a nice Japanese lunch yesterday at Yamagawa. It’s hidden at one isolated corner in The Plaza along Beach Road. It’s just beside my workplace though.

And so Cecilia was saying that she didn’t know about this restaurant too, until another colleague brought her there some time ago. Seriously, it’s at one hidden corner and no one will know about it unless by word of mouth. So my guess is it should be quite authentic for it to survive so long given its horrible location.

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We had this as an appetizer – raw octopus with wasabi – it was really nice and addictive and Cecilia the Japanese foodie expert commented that it would go really well with sake.

 

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Yeah it was a bit slimy. but it was okay!

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We also ordered this saba fish to share – executed nicely, the flesh was juicy and flavourful.

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My sukiyaki lunch set! When i saw the yolk, i was really wondering what i should do with it coz Cecilia was on a call away from the table. So I plopped the whole egg into the sukiyaki pot. When Cecilia came back, I told her about the yolk and she immediately scooped it up for me and explained that the yolk was supposed to be a dip for the beef slices.

OOOOOHHHH….

And so I did. and it tasted magical!! Went so well with the beef leh!

Ok i suaku.

I was so stuffed from the lunch set – the sukiyaki pot was filled with beef slices and plenty of vegetables – the broth went super well with the rice too *YUM*

I am so having this again the next time i’m there!!

My sukiyaki set cost $18 before taxes and service charge. I think it’s pretty okay – it came with miso soup and 2 slices of sweet watermelon. I don’t mind going there for dinner and have some sake 🙂

Besides the food, I really love the interior of the restaurant. After we entered the restaurant, we had to walk through a narrow pathway to the main dining area. While we walked through that pathway, we saw a few private rooms that looked very very cosy and authentically Japanese. It’s like we were walking back in time to the geisha period!

Ok i am exaggerating. But yes I did feel rather ethereal. 🙂

Once We Become Parents We Don’t Want To Hang Out With You Anymore (But Not For The Reasons You Think)

Once We Become Parents We Don’t Want To Hang Out With You Anymore (But Not For The Reasons You Think).

It’s amazing how this post resonates with how i’ve been thinking all these years. Here are the few points in the post that I find myself nodding my head vigorously as I read:

1. Turns out kids need to eat, drink, move, sleep and poop.  Every damn day of the year.  And for the most part, it really DOES make a difference when and where these events occur.

I never like bringing the baby out for gatherings that span across more than 2 hours. Yes, even church service. What is the point of going service with the baby when you end up in the cry room with the baby so that the baby doesn’t disrupt the service? I might as well just stay in the comfort and familiarity of my home and take care of her with all the toys and snacks within easy reach. Church friends often encourage me to bring the baby to church so that she can get used to it.

Sure. WHEN I THINK SHE IS READY. AND WHEN I THINK I AM READY. The fact that others can tahan a crying baby doesn’t mean i can or that i want to. The fact that your baby can behave well through out the service doesn’t mean my baby can. I have very low tolerance for crying babies, especially mine for the simple reason that my baby has a shallow tummy and will vomit out all her food if she cries too hard. I probably inherited some of the traditional babysitting traits from my babysitter mum too – she never lets a baby cry for too long coz the ‘wind’ gets into the tummy and cause bloating etc.

Well for the most part, I’m the one who’s not ready. I dislike unpleasant babysitting situations where I end up helpless and not knowing what to do. Period.

Having said all of that, I will want to start bringing her out to get used to strangers soon so she won’t have much to cry about when she starts school.

 

2. And if we work outside the home, we feel like our time with them is very limited.  Going out to dinner could mean not seeing your kid all day, going away for the weekend could mean not seeing your child for 80% of the week (that we are not working and they are awake).

This is something which I struggle with A LOT. I miss meeting up with friends for dinner and drinks. BUT whenever i set up a date with my girl friends, it’s always at the expense of not seeing my kids for the next 24 hours or more coz by the time i reach home, they will be asleep and the next morning they will be still sleeping when I leave for work. It’s also at the expense of making my mum work more coz I’m not home to help her. It’s also at the expense of not coaching my elder girl with her daily homework coz my hubby will be busy with the baby!

It’s a big tug of war!! I am not going to say things like “Sigh I shouldnt have 2 kids” or “Why did I get myself into this” coz the fact is that I HAVE 2 KIDS and I gotta be adult about it, sadly..

 

3. Even so, we often decline invitations to your fun events, not because it doesn’t sound like a blast in general, but because we know, for us, it just won’t be fun. This is not because YOU aren’t fun.  You are a riot.  (Do you hear us?  We really do think this, even if we neglect to express this enough).  We just can’t focus on you very well when we have to simultaneously keep an eye on our kids making sure they don’t choke, drown in randomly placed vat of water or get a head injury bumping into the pointy corner of a table. 

Strangely, i know of a few families who can focus very well during gatherings while their young children just go free somewhere else. I’m sorry, I just can’t.

 

4.  Which means we have to leave events even earlier, or we miss attending them altogether.  It’s easy to look at our kids and say, “Oh, they don’t even look tired!” and you’d be right.  And that’s why we’re leaving NOW, before they have a total meltdown and lose their shit.  We can preemptively sense these things like some animals can sense earthquakes before they register on any seismograph.

Another reason why i rather not go at all! I hate dealing with people who say “See, they are having so much fun, just stay on until the end”.

 

Haha, I love this post. I guess parenting is different for every parent. I have learnt enough not to judge parents who appear quite bo-chup about their kids or judge parents who are even more protective than me! There’s no wrong, no right – they are just different ways! So don’t impose on me your views, coz I am not imposing mine on you 🙂

 

Letting go

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As I grow older I start to find it tiring to hold on to grudges and thoughts of revenge and anger. This life is too short to be spent thinking of ways to pay back.

Ha. I sound really old.

I also find it tiring to think about how other people think of me. To worry about how other people may talk behind my back.. may back stab me.. may gossip about me. Nothing much I can do about it, so why should I be thinking about it?

On a side note, I’ve been meeting new people at this new church that I’m visiting for the past two weeks. It’s a small cosy church and I find it rather liberating talking to people I dunno. I won’t go in depth, will update all when I decide to commit to this place of worship.

All I can say is, stay tuned 😉

Too full

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Hey everyone – i’m back from a super heavy dinner and I just cannot bring myself to lie down and sleep.. and imagine the food rolling around in my tummy.

Argh.

A comment made by a friend just now kinda stuck with me till now. I was asking him about his job of 7 years and how he likes this job. and he said “it’s just the same shit but different face.”

Been thinking. Just just just thinking.

I’m an Esprit member yay!

I decided that I needed a black bag for work. Simply because my black Kate Spade bag is too big for work and that’s the only black bag I have.

I have this other light brown one which I bought from Mphosis that is also quite bulky and a white one from Esprit which is turning grey literally. And my burberry bag cannot match my printed and floral dresses.

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I found this at trusty Esprit. It’s such a lightweight, compact and soft bag! It’s half suede and half leather, with very convenient long handles. Love it to bits!

Esprit always has simple and classic designs that are not too flashy and exudes minimalistic chicness.

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And i got this wallet too, finally found a wallet that has more compartments than my 8 year old LV wallet hahaha.

And yes, plus another wallet for my mum, I managed to get the membership!  It’s not lifetime though. Need to spend another 350 within the year to get it renewed.

I think it shouldn’t be a problem 😉