Haha, MY OWN KIDS. I still can’t quite believe that i am a mother of TWO, at the age of 33.
I am really still quite young (being the youngest in my church cell group does help *winkwink*) in terms of being a parent and wife. I’ve been married for nearly 8 years (hubby and i were just talking about what to do on our wedding anniversary happening next month – damn there’s a reason to celebrate and feast nearly every month!) and my elder child is 7. Really stupendously unbelieveable.
I’ve come to learn over these 8 years, that every family has their own parenting style which is dependent on the parent’s upbringing, background and values. Some couples find it necessary for the mum to quit her job and stay home so as to spend more time with the kids, while other couples choose to work and place their child in the hands of grandparents, childcare centre or nannies.
I’ve also come to learn another very important thing – I HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE OR CRITICISE HOW OTHER PARENTS RAISE THEIR KIDS. I ALSO CANNOT ASSUME THAT OTHER PARENTS ARE INCOMPETENT JUST BECAUSE THEIR PARENTING STYLE IS DIFFERENT FROM MINE.
Coz I used to be judgmental, critical and full of assumptions aka full of myself. I think my parenting style was the most ideal and the rest should adopt mine – if not, they are simply foolish and not taking care of their kids well.
But i realised that every family has their reason for parenting in a certain way, they have underlying situations that we are unaware of, they may have past experiences that I don’t know of. Even if they appear super bo-chap about their children, i shouldn’t say things like ‘so bo-chap, give birth for what?’.
So now, I no longer judge. I just want to encourage, salute and say that HEY YOU PARENTS, LET’S WORK HARD TOGETHER TO BECOME BETTER PARENTS!
Anyway, back to me.
As for me, I don’t think I am a perfect parent. I am a working mum – I spend half my day in the office and my kids with grandma. In my own unique family set up, we have done the best we could and this is how we are running the family now. With both parents working, we are able to provide more abundantly for the family without financial worries. My mum is an experienced babysitter, so we feel assured leaving the kids with her. After work, hubby and I usually will go back home to spend time with the kids, unless hubby has his night meetings and I have my occasional dinner dates with girlfriends (max twice a month).
On Sundays, hubby and I will bring our elder child to sunday service together and we leave our baby at home with my mum. Hubby and I may start going for our cell groups on Friday nights (starting 9pm) and leave both kids at home with my mum so they can sleep at their usual time and my mum wants my elder child to jagar the baby while my mum prepares the bed and makes the milk etc. My elder child can go along with us for cell groups once my mum can manage the baby alone.
Basically, Hubby and I would like to make a commitment to attend church regularly so that even though our elder girl cannot go with us for cell group for the time being, SHE IS AWARE that her papa and mummy are going for this regularly and that God is important to her papa and mummy.
Guess it’s time to set some priorities right – they have been kinda floating around in my mind.